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Do you sometimes feel you’re fighting a losing battle with your unconverted husband or wife? Read this encouraging instruction from Yahweh’s Word.

       Joseph and Moses. King David, Hosea and Esther. What did these spiritual pillars, all have in common? The answer is surprising!

      All were powerful and effective servants of Yahweh while their marital partners were either unbelieving (Hos 1:2-3), outside the congregation of Israel (Gen 41:50, Esther 2:10, 16-17) or just plain hostile (Exo 4:26, 2nd Sam 6:20-23).

      What eloquent testimony to the opportunities available today for those in the Congregation of Yahweh with nonmember mates!

      Yahweh specifically promises special blessings for those with husbands and wives outside His Congregation. What are these blessings? Let’s study Yahweh’s Word to see. Expect some surprises.

A Special Service

Yahweh carefully spells out that members with unbaptized mates are called to special service in His Work. Notice: “If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, let him not leave her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, let her not leave him” (1st Cor 7:12-13).

How clear and precise. As long as the nonbeliever sincerely and seriously desires to maintain a normal family relationship, the marriage should continue.

Why? Why doesn’t Yahweh immediately call both husband and wife into the Congregation? Paul says:“Only as Yahweh has divided to each, each as The Master has called, so let him walk. So I command in the congregations” (verse 17).

Why is Yahweh so emphatic here? Why did Paul rule that, all other things being equal, members married to nonmembers should stay together? Notice verse 16: “For what do you know, wife, whether you will save the husband? Or what do you know, husband, whether you will save the wife? The potential payoff in a non-member-mate situation is the possibility that an unbelieving husband or wife will someday respond to Yahweh’s calling.

Notice I said “someday.” Yahweh has plenty of time. We must patiently persevere. Some will answer, “but never my spouse, they have no interest!” However, there was a time that all of us were also in the world living a worldly life, with no interest in Yahweh. Don’t sell Yahweh short, He can touch the heart of anyone, and remember ‘Yahshua did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance’.

Yahweh has lived forever, and has all the time in the world, but we need to learn PATIENCE! Also, when we show mercy and grace to our unconverted mate, we are having the wonderful ability, and example, of being like Yahweh is with us.

So, why does Yahweh choose to work this way sometimes? Remember when Yahshua came to His home-town of Nazareth? The Bible records that “And He did not do many works of power there because of their unbelief” (Mat 13:58).

Why? Prejudice and preconceived opinions can block the flow of Yahweh’s Spirit (Acts 7:51).

Consider your mate. Wrong examples, disillusioning childhood experiences, misplaced hopes, blinding materialistic pursuits, sheer hardness of heart—these can make it difficult for people to respond to a direct call from Yahweh (Heb 3:7-8). So, Yahweh sometimes uses the indirect approach. No one is more clever, subtle, and skillful than the Master Designer of the universe (Dan 2:20).

Outstanding Disciple character has impact (Mat 5:14). Many with mates outside Yahweh’s Congregation have so transformed themselves by the molding and fashioning influence of Yahweh’s Spirit (Rom 12:2) that they are beacons of Yahweh’s way. Their mates have come up against the most irresistible force in this universe, the power of Yahweh’s Spirit flowing out in kindness, gentleness, and patience (2nd Tim 1:7, Gal 5:22).

Hundreds reading this article have seen Yahweh’s hand at work in this complex situation. Yahweh would love to do the same for all of us (Eph 3:20). On one condition. Here is the great caution Yahweh’s ministers offer to those with unbelieving mates: “Trust in YAHWEH with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding” (Prov 3:5).

Yahweh must do the calling

Don’t take matters into your own hands (Prov 21:30). Forget trying to engineer your mate’s conversion. Remember John 6:44: “No one is able to come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him, and I will raise him up in the last day.”

Realize the deep implications of that verse. Leave the calling in Yahweh’s hands. No human has the eloquence, the skill, the prowess to accomplish what Yahweh hasn’t yet accomplished.

Oh, how tempting it is for wives or husbands to “accidentally” leave certain Remnant’s Walk articles displayed on the coffee table in the hope that their mates will happen to see them and – presto! – “join the Congregation.”

How clever it seems to go along with a husband’s or wife’s social pursuits in the hope that he or she might feel somehow obligated to attend the next Congregational activity!

How many men and women try to subtly steer conversations their way so they can end by offering a foolproof (they think) list of arguments for the Congregation! Avoid these carnal gambits!

“This is not the wisdom coming down from above, but is earthly, sensual, and devilish. For where jealously and contention are, there is confusion and every foul deed” (Jacob 3:15-16). Such strategies usually boomerang miserably.

Remember, giving to get something in return is not Yahweh’s kind of giving (Acts 20:35). That is mere merchandising. Respect your mate’s position. Yahweh does. He forces no one to go His way. Man can choose not to obey.

Yet Yahweh does, however, look for opportunities to attract others to the truth through the sincere, selfless, submissive examples of His people (John 1:40-41).

1st Corinthians 7:16 is Yahweh’s statement of intent in such cases.

Quite a few of those once overtly hostile to Yahweh’s truth are now deeply committed members.

Miracles happen. There are always the bitter, incorrigible cases, the Nabals who do not learn (1st Sam 25:25), who threaten the physical and spiritual survival of Yahweh’s begotten children. Such cases need to be brought to the ministry. And at times, in cases of abuse, a spouse may even have to separate.

Yet, still, our primary job is to change ourselves, not our mates (Mat 7:5). Never forget that through the workings of Yahweh’s Spirit in our minds, Yahweh can reach people otherwise impervious to His call. Place the onus upon yourself to set the example of optimism, stability, discretion and efficiency. Yahweh will help (Jacob 1:5).

Yahweh may use your mate

There is still more. Members with nonbelieving mates are already serving Yahweh in ways they perhaps don’t realize. Consider this: How many people receive a personal witness because they are friends or associates of your husband or wife? How many may have even checked out the website?

“You know John’s wife? Well, she belongs to that Congregation of Yahweh, you know, the group that keeps Saturday and other Jewish festivals.”

“Now keep this to yourselves, girls, but I hear that Mildred’s husband has joined some religious group that believes America is the biblical Babylon. And you know, it really does make sense.”

“I don’t agree with your wife’s religion, Smelvvin, but it certainly seems to have changed her for the better!”

Get the picture? Yahweh may often use your mate’s unconverted status to spread more of His truth into more lives and can further the Good News in ways you might not know (Ezek 33:20).

Nonmember mates have numerous business and social contacts they might not have as baptized members. Unwittingly, they are often used to advertise Yahweh’s Work in many more lives simply because they aren’t members.

Don’t be surprised if the talk about your “strange religion” (at which your husband or wife might argue with you to your face, but may defend you out in the world) will sow seeds that will eventually sprout (Eccl 11:6).

Don’t limit yourself. Yahweh can use your mate’s nonmember status to shine His light into nooks and crannies of this world that the website or magazine might not penetrate.

Open your eyes to Yahweh’s hand in your life. “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained” (Prov 29:18). Set a good example for your husband or wife’s friends and associates. Quit wasting time idealizing out of all proportion the marriages where both mates are members. Every marriage has problems that are not seen (Eccl 7:20).

Yahweh knows your situation. If He hasn’t changed it yet, trust Him to know what He is doing (1st Cor 1:25). One day we will learn that the great, magnificent Yahweh was far ahead of us all along (Job 42:2-3). Is that really so hard to believe?

Remember, life is not about getting your spouse saved, but life is a test for each of us to overcome in whatever circumstances that Yahweh has put us in, as He knows best what each of us needs to do this.

What about children?

What about the blessings Yahweh extends to the children of members with unbelieving mates?

It should be encouraging to note that the scripture explaining how the children in Yahweh’s Congregation are “holy or sanctified” applies to those in this situation: “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified by the husband; else, then, your children are impure, but in such cases they are pure” (1st Cor 7:14).

How does Yahweh bless entire families if only one mate is baptized? Through financial stability, employment opportunities, healings and special protection (Prov 11:11). Many case histories in Yahweh’s Congregation testify to this solid truth.

Yet, Yahweh often works a special work in the offspring of those with nonbelieving mates (Prov 11:21).

Many are the young people inspired by parents battling for their beliefs in uphill struggles against antagonistic mates. Sometimes it prods them to think more deeply about Yahweh’s Congregation at an earlier age than they would if both parents attended.

They learn to “count the cost” (Luke 14:28) early.

This should be inspiring. Was John Mark’s father ever a member? Probably not. Only his mother is mentioned in Scripture. Yet, she was a vital part of the early Congregation (Acts 12:12). What did righteous, capable Kings Azariah, Hezekiah, and Josiah, have in common? All three were the products of righteous mothers who steeled their sons in Yahweh’s ways even while their fathers were weak, wicked, or both (2nd Kings 15:1-3, 18:1-3, 22:1-2).

No easy task in a time when the wrong word or look from a king spelled instant death!

These noble mothers remind us there is sometimes more intensity and sincerity in training children the right way when only one mate is a believer. There is a strong prod to make the most of every day.

And don’t only look at your children right now, but think about how maybe the seeds your planting may come to fruition much later, maybe even after they are married and have children of their own. The foundation you are laying now is bearing fruit, even if you don’t see it yet, and even if it is for them to make the Kingdom in the White Throne Judgment, in which without your guidance, it could have been the Lake of Fire.

Fathers: Lead the family

Fathers, if your wife resents your family Bible studies, compensate for it by setting a vibrant, enthusiastic example at the supper table (Prov 15:7). Does your mealtime conversation sparkle? Are you a lift to everyone’s day (Prov 12:18)?

Do your children look forward to your coming home? Are you the one they’re going to remember as the real fireball of the family, the one they could count on for a friendly word or a pep talk when necessary (Mat 5:13)?

Or do you selfishly bemoan your life situation and miss the daily opportunities to show your offspring that Yahweh’s way of life is truly the abundant life (John 10:10)?

Remember, enthusiasm is contagious. Our children will remember how we live.

Ask Yahweh to help you shed false pride and worldly concepts of masculinity. Humbly beseech Yahweh to help you guide your children. Learn to express love and warmth.

Serve your family. Plan the right balance of wholesome recreational activities. Utilize family outings to shrewdly drive home basic lessons: Nothing good comes without effort. Lose gracefully without competition. Persevere. Plan wisely. This is more effective than preaching or lecturing.

Surround your children with a warm, hearty, masculine exuberance for life and its challenges and, when bedtime comes, occasionally kneel down and lead them in thanksgiving to their spiritual Father who blesses, protects and teaches us. Few people will resent this!

Many men with wives’ hostile to the Congregation outflank the problem by just such a strategy (Prov 24:5). They are richly blessed. Their children know who the happy parent is in their family. Does yours?

Mothers: Instill biblical principles

Women with nonmember mates can work with their children on simple areas such as righteous conduct, and basic table manners, politeness, respect for elders, punctuality, orderly schoolwork, and successful performance of chores.

These are biblical principles. Wisely schedule the time for Bible lessons you want to cover. Appreciate your husband’s sensitivities and sore spots. Pick a time when your mate will not feel like the Congregation is competing with him in his involvement with the family.

Or what about family photograph albums? This can lead to wholesome, righteous discussions on thankfulness, looking on the bright side, changing times, customs, morality. But stay on top of the situation by first seeking wisdom from Yahweh (Jacob 1:5).

Remember the story of King David with Abigail. Abigail had an unconverted husband who nearly got their whole family killed. Think about how difficult it must have been for Abigail to live with such an evil husband. And yet she was happy, she persevered, she passed her test with Yahweh and grew in character to actually become the lawful wife of King David and to raise royal heirs for the Kingdom.

Also, what about Queen Esther? She was forced into an arranged marriage with a foreign pagan king who she did not choose to marry. Did she sulk, or think about how different her life could have been?

No! She embraced her life with the situation that Yahweh put her in to save the nation of Judah, and realized that she was put in that circumstance not by accident, “For such a Time As This”.

You also have been put in your circumstances for such a time as this! Embrace it, help others who also have unbelieving mates, this can be part of your ministry, and also part of your great reward with Yahweh.

Refuse to be pushed around by life’s circumstances

(Prov 24:10). Yahweh called you alone and you can make it on your own, with His help, if you have to. Look upon your mate’s nonmember status as your extra incentive to develop tact, wisdom, resourcefulness. Refuse to indulge in self-pity. Wake up to your opportunities.

Yahweh, by placing you in the special category of bearing His way of life before your family’s scrutiny and daily observation, has given you a terrific vote of confidence.

How? Because, calling you in that way, He knew you could handle it, with His help (1st Cor 7:24). What a special calling you have. Make the most of it! Remember, life is a TEST! And our real bridegroom for eternity is Yahshua. The Kingdom is just around the corner!